You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
