I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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