We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
