We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
