My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
