Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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