Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
