I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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