Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
