life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
