when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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