Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
