After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
