Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
