Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
