I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
