I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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