normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize