woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
