I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
