I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
how do flat chested girls get laid?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
