plz talk dirty to me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
