About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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