This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
