girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize