The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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