I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
