Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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