I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
