mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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