Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
