he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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