Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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