Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize