im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
