you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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