I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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