During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
