The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you didnt know i had herpes?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Randomize
