i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
