oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
