yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
