Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
