i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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