I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
