Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
where are my eyebrows?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
