dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
only if we run a train.
done.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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