Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
