You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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