My brain says no but my pants say off.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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