I wish I only lived at night.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he was CRYING into my vagina
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
