somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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