you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
