just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
