my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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