And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
