My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
