Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize