I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
