Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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