I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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