He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
