i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
