watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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