If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
