I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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